It's almost party time!

I could be upset that they're more than a week & a half late, but I was too busy awing over my baby turning one.

That aw quickly turned to tears. I was dancing with Cameron while watching Yo Gabba, Gabba! The kids were making funny faces, so we were dancing along to the music. Then I realized he's not going to need my help standing up for long. Paul saw I was getting teary eyed & hugged me. I said, "I'm not crying. I'm not, I'm NOT!" Quickly the tears turned to laughter, but it's still so bittersweet.

Not that I wasn't expecting tears but I don't really understand why I'm crying. I guess because I wish we could relive some of his first, or that I'm happy he's happy, healthy & celebrating his first year of life.

It seems that lately he's turning more into a boy than staying my little baby. Now we're greeted with him standing in his crib than laying down, waiting for us to pick him up. Wanting to walk rather than crawl around the house, throwing the ball farther than an inch for Sadie & mimicking more words. His new word is "star", taught by Miss Ruth from daycare.

I don't know what I expected with Cameron's first year, but I can say it's been quite the ride. :)

I think we're the ones being trained. ;)

We’re pretty big on routine around the house. I’ve read again & again routine does not come easy with a baby, but it works for us.

One of our routines or habits, we will knock on Cameron’s door before going inside. That way if he’s crying he knows we’re going in or just for the sake of doing it. :)

On our way to lunch Paul shared a cute story from this morning, so I thought I would share it with you.

It was time to get ready & Cameron was still sound asleep. So, Paul knocked on his door (yes knocked, it’s polite) & started singing good morning. He didn’t turn the light on since Cameron was still half asleep. Paul helped him stand up & right away Cameron started signing “light”. So, being the good daddy that he is Paul promptly turned on the light. Of course that made Cameron smile ear to ear.

I love watching him understand & use his signs. He’s using them more & more each day & it’s so cute!

I know seeing rather than reading is more entertaining so I’ll try to post some video.

Did you know, some dogs are brown?

Cameron is non stop "talking". You can tell there's so much he wants to say & I'm sure the moment he can, he'll talk for a day straight.

Tonight after daycare we stopped inside our leasing office. As I sat there signing paperwork Cameron talked (read: flirted. Ay yi yi wait until at least puberty....wait no. until your 3o's) with the office assistant. She commented on how well he held a conversation. Oh really, is that what you call it? Because at times I can barely get a word in nevertheless hold a conversation. So, I thought I would share another one of his favorite things, talking. :)



He's getting better with signing too. Along with dog he's been saying/showing "fan" & "light" more & more each day.


We can't take the credit for everything, just 99.9%. His friend at daycare, Stefano would say tick tock through out the day. I guess it's fun to do because before we knew it, Cameron was chiming right along with him.



What's that? You want more video of Cameron?! Ask & you shall receive my dear Cameron fans. Did you wonder how to sound like an airplane? Watch closely & listen well, Cameron will teach you.



Next lesson, The Law of Gravity.

Today, I'm going to take over the world.

To say Cameron has a strong personality is an understatement.

For being so young, he already behaves so grown up at times.

Well, grown up in a baby kind of way. :)

“I don’t want to sit in the cart mama, I want to sit on the floor.” Ok, happy baby.

“Oh, a duckie washcloth. Let me reach over & pull it off the shelf. Here mama, you can buy it for me.” Ok, happy baby.

“You really don’t have to lay me down to take my medicine. I’ll willingly drink it sitting up. I’ll even cry for more, because I know it will help me get better.” Yay, happy baby.

“Oh, I think I’ll crawl today.” Yaaa – Wait, what?

Yup, just like that Cameron decided he was going to crawl.

I went to pick him up from daycare last night & Miss Becca was so excited to tell me the news. She said it was for a few seconds but he was definitely crawling. At first I was a little upset that I didn’t get to see for myself, but then I sat Cameron by the kitchen while I got his dinner ready. And he just crawled on over to the dogs dish bowls & started taking their food out. I couldn’t help but laugh, laugh because of course that would be the first thing he would crawl too but the fact that he was on the move.

When Paul came home I had plenty of video to share with him. We just kept laughing & replaying the footage.

I just can’t believe it. My son, Mr. Anti Crawl I can reach it if I just stretch enough, decided he would crawl. Not just semi crawl, but crawl as if he’s been doing it for ages too. I can’t help but laugh, he just does what he pleases & there’s really no guessing what he’s going to do next.

So, if/when he declares he’s going to be an astronaut, President or a cowboy that wrangles cats, I won’t be the least bit surprised. I’ll just think back to this day & say, “I think you’ll be the best *insert aspiration here* there ever was.”

I love...

I love how you smile when I say, I love you.

I love how you wave your arms in the air out of excitement.

I love how little thing, like going up/down the stairs excites you.

I love how you’re learning to sign back (allll done!)

I love how you can play alone, but always welcome the company.

I love how you smile & devour your snack, when daddy ask, “can I have some".

I love how you think about sharing, and then do it.

I love how your voice trembles & lips quiver when you're upset.

I love watching you give love to Oscar & Sadie.

I love how you use my shirt to pull yourself up.

I love your infectious laugh, your bubbling personality & how you're quickly turning into a little boy who knows what he likes & what he wants.

But most of all I love you.

I love how you can turn a simple moment into a priceless one.

I love how you can make me stop what I'm doing, dash for the camera & capture every priceless moment I can.

Mama, look at what I can do.

Yes, now lay down & act like a baby.

*sigh* As ironic as it sounds, I cannot get over how big Cameron is getting.

I use to think it was so silly when people would say, "my baby is growing up so fast!"

Of course they are, they’re babies. Babies grow up, duh.

But now that I have my own, I can see exactly what they were talking about.

It's not about them growing bigger.

Or all of the milestones that they've met.

It's about the journey we’re made together.

Of course Paul’s always been there, but there’s a special bond I have with Cameron.

Feeling his hiccups, his kicks to holding him in my arms for the very first time to knowing what to do to make him calm down, not knowing what to do but being there just the same.

I remember I couldn't get over how this baby was at one time in my belly. Even when he was so very small I couldn't wrap my head around it.

Each passing day my love grows right along with him and I honestly don’t know what my future held without seeing him right there with us.

Now I see this little boy emerging from what was once that tiny baby.

Big boy! I can't wait to see how tall he is next Halloween. :)

Through out the day he insisted on standing up. Shakin' his groove thang with Miss Tessa.

I've never been a huge fan of baby shoes. I thought it was silly to buy shoes for a baby that has no use for them. But after the pumpkin patch we went out & purchased Cameron's first pair of shoes.

I think he likes them. :)
PHEW! This standing up is hard work mama.
One of Cameron's favorite things, is yelling the moment we leave the house. He loves hearing his voice echo through out the hallway.
I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it, especially when we leave before 7 during the weekday.

This last picture just melts my heart.

*sigh*

So know I understand, my baby is growing up too, too fast.

Baby Rule #3

Do not question the love a boy has for his ball.

It's become bit routine to "check out" a toy from daycare.

Cameron picks out one (whichever one he plays with the most that week) and we return it the following week.

We've had big toy truck, xylophone alligator, ball with toy hamster inside, tambourine, small toy truck, toy that had spinning ducks....you get the idea.

Well Thursday night I went to pick up the Cheese & what did I find?
He was playing with the room beach ball, hmm.

Miss Ruth said the first day she brought it in for beach day, Cameron was scared of it.

So scared, he would cry if it got too close to him. :(

But over time & I'm sure watching everyone else have fun with it, he's grown to love it too.

What a wonderful story right?

It's great, really it is.

Cameron put the ball back, we're not taking the huge beach ball home.

Note to self: Do not try to take beach ball away from Cameron.

So, as comical as we looked I placed Cameron in his carseat & he held onto the ball.

I was too busy saying, "are you kidding me? we're taking the beach ball?" to take a picture.

As soon as we came home he went straight for his new toy & well, had a ball. ;)
This is my ball Oscar, you can look at it but don't touch. Matter of fact, stop looking.
Mama, cross out Infant & put Cameron.
Ok mama, I'm going to throw it to you & you throw it back.

See, wasn't that fun?! Now let's do it 1,432 more times!
As usual, Friday was daddy & bebe day.

When I walked through the door Paul told me all about Cameron's love for the beach ball.

Yeah, I think he likes it just a tad.

Paul even surprised me with a video to show proof.

It has a Blair Witch vibe, but it was sweet that Paul thought to record & share with me.



Ahh, to be that content with a 99 cent ball. :)

Yes I will buy that picture for $50

I'm sure it's very apparent I love taking pictures of Cameron.

I don't have that many baby photos of myself, and I'm sure that's where my obsession began.

Now scrapbooking, that's a whole other story.

I can't say I've tried, but I don't see it happening.

All the pictures will go into a photo album, in a frame, on the wall or on my work desk. :)

But then, picture day at daycare arrived.

Actually, let's take it back even further.

Before we left the hospital they offered newborn pictures.

Of course we let them take pictures.

And then, of course we bought them.

Do not attempt to adjust your screens. Cameron use to not only be that tiny, but that skinny!

hehe Just look at those perfect piano playing fingers.

Love.

Our child was obviously the next Gerber baby & we bought them right away.

The plan was to have Cameron sign each one & give away to his loyal fans.

Instead...we bought & safely tuck them away in a nice envelope.

Then to make sure their safety was reinforced, we stuck that envelope in our cabinet where they've been kept safe, since January. :p

Then picture day at daycare arrived.

Oh glory, my little boy was getting his first "school" picture!

We just had to buy them, not only were they cute but the moment had to be saved forever.

We would save one for us & give the rest out to Chunka Cheese fans worldwide.

I admit, the backdrops aren't the *gag* cutest but that smile just sucks you in.

So, we grabbed his newborn pictures down from the cabinet & placed our new purchase in the same envelope.

Yup, we were going to mail both pictures together!

This was a BRILLIANT idea!

So right away we tucked that envelope into our cabinet, for safety reasons of course.

That was back in April.

Do you see a trend forming?

Hmm, my ability to mail out pictures is right up there with scrapbooking.

Well, glorious picture day has arrived yet again!

And seriously, we're buying copies & mailing them out.

Honest.

Promise!

Who could resist this laid back pose, arm against the bridge and all?
Or this handsome smile, teeth & all! Don't you just want to gobble him up?


How could we not buy them, right?

If all else fails, at least they'll be a nice addition to our already growing collection. ;)

Home Is Where The Cheese Is

This weekend was hard for many reasons.

1. I was leaving Cameron for almost 3 days.

2. I was saying good-bye, to my beautiful friend Jewelyn.

3. I was leaving Cameron for almost 3 days.

I knew I was going to cry.

Admitting I was stressed out is sugar coating it.

I was scared out of my mind.

It was stressful, the upcoming services, driving alone, being away for so long but I knew if I didn't go, I would regret it.

I'm so lucky to have Paul. I don't really know if I would have went if he wasn't so supportive of me going.

So, I packed the night before & "planned" on leaving after Cameron went down for his first nap & then decided to leave at 8.

Well, after trying to leave several times, I ended up leaving after he went down for a nap. We said goodbye & Cameron started to reach out & cry for me.

*insert worst mama in the world feeling here*

I stayed a bit longer, we sang "the ants go marching", marveled at the wonder that is a ROCK and danced.

Then finally I was on my way.

The drive wasn't terribly bad. It was great to spend times with wonderful friends, missed family & driving through familiar roads.

The services were so beautiful. I was so nervous the day of. My palms were sweaty, my stomach was just in complete knots.

Then I arrived at the church.

All my anxiety just lifted & I knew I had made the right decision.

The services were beautiful, just as Jewelyn. Every moment was heartfelt & I was so relived I was not only a part of her celebration of life, but that she was & will forever be my friend.

My trip was short, bittersweet but full of love & priceless memories.

It's always wonderful to surround yourself with people who love you, for you.

So, of course coming home was the cherry on top!

I made excellent timing & was so happy to see my little man.

As I walked through the doors he smiled & then looked around as if he was thinking, "look! mama's back!"

I picked him up & he starting pulling himself up in excitement. It was the best welcome home hug.

Since it was still early a trip to the park was in order.

The famous, crawling is over rated, I can reach it streeeeetchhhhh.

We decided to feed the ducks.

Ok, Cameron ate but he was kind enough to let the ducks watch.

Paul joined us after work, ahhhh another face I've missed.

It was so nice relaxing & spending time together.

We walked around & found a bucket swing!

Cameron has yet to swing on his own, so I was (probably the most) excited. :D




Well, it looks and sounds like someone was a little excited too. *coughpaulcough*



After the park, we headed home just in time for Cameron's bath.
His new "game" is leaning over & reaching for toys.

Then, if they're just a wee bit out of his reach, he politely says, "mama can you get that for me?"



Ahhh, I've missed that face.

So very happy to be home with my boys, my beautiful family.

Cali, see ya in December!

Cameron fall down, go boom

With Paul's new work schedule we needed a sitter.

So, last Friday Cameron went to daycare for an hour, an hour.

Within that hour Cameron knocked "first bruise" from his check list.

Mr. Anti-Crawl-Don't-Worry-I-Can-Scoot-And-Reach did just that for a toy.

Somehow his revision to crawling didn't go according to plan.

He fell forward onto said toy and ate it, hard. :(

Miss Ruth gave him lots of love, poor guy.

He fell so hard the bruise was in the shape of the toy, boo hoo.

I wont' lie.

As soon as I saw him I freaked out.

He had a nasty diaper rash a few days ago. When I say nasty, it was bad, really, really bad.

I got a call from Miss Ellen & she said it looked like a hive.

Doing what I do best, I freak out & make a mad rash for the store.

After buying a bottle of Calamine I rush to daycare, turns out it's just a rash.

He's never had a diaper rash & I wasn't sure if it was a rash or allergic reaction to a new food.

So, I ran back out & bought Bag Balm (if you don't have it, get it today!) & oatmeal for his bath.

Now, a few days later I walk into the infant room & it looks like a hive across his face.

{{insert panic mode yet again}}}

I had to sign an incident report & joked about getting a copy for his baby book.

*sigh* He's a boy, I know this is the first of many but, *sigh*

As ironic as it may seem, that's a picture of Paul & Cameron playing "boop".

It started when Diana came down to visit.

She would say "Toques" & bump Cameron's head.

He had no idea what was going on.

Well now, Paul says "boop" and they butt heads. :/ Oh joy.

My bebe may try to act tough & butt heads withe the best of them.

But I know better. :)


Then, later that weekend Cameron woke up with a cold.

He rubs his nose when it runs, combine that with crankyness & you get another wound.

A scratch that ran from under his eye almost to his chin. :(



So, w/a bruise & battle wound I couldn't help but buy this shirt to celebrate the occasion.



Perfect, no? ;)

Seriously, how do you title a story like this one?

When most people ask how Cameron's doing I'll always make it a point to say, "he's still nosy".

Inquisitive, taking in the world, always wanting to be in the loop.

Call it what you want, my son is down right nosy.

Not sure where he got that trait from, hmmmm.

Being so inquisitive has led him to mimicking as well.

He's gone from mimicking noises, gestures, rubber neck syndrome & now this.

Last night we got home a tad late from daycare (read: I talked too long with Ruth).

We usually take out his red push car & walk all around the neighborhood.

Since we were already running late I decided to just carry Cameron.

We walked over to the poop zone.

Sadie is a poop champ. She doesn't put on a show, just takes care of business.

Oscar on the other hand is a PITA.

I mean, he needs coaching. :D

I'm usually quite patient w/his song & dance.

You can't look at him, he has to sniff over every inch 3x over, circles 3,423x then when you finally think he's going for it, he hears a noise & the process starts all over again.

Ugh.

I'll usually yell out, "POOP! OSCAR POOOOOOOOOOP!!!"

I am fully aware the neighbors peak out their window & judge.

I know & accept this.

But, I live w/freak dog & can yell if I please.

So, it didn't matter to Oscar that it was getting dark & Cameron needed his bath.

After pleading I finally told Cameron, "Tell Oscar to go poop."

Funny enough he started yelling out toward Oscar, da a-daaaaa!

So, here I am saying poop! Poooooooop, go poo poo!

And what do I feel?

Cameron bracing down.

He was bracing down, red in the face & grunting.

My son was trying to poop.

I've heard of sympathy pain, but he was taking it just a bit too far.

The princess, the giant & the squirrel.

Amazing, amazing, amazing.

The generosity of so many has been so amazing.

Kim has been receiving loads of donations.

A yard sale was held for the Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund. The girls raised $1,200, woo hoo!

Miss Gabrielle is finally home with daddy.

You can go here for updates & pictures.

She's just too precious for words, and that hair! You know I'm a sucker for wild hair. ;)

Speaking of hair you want to run through your fingers, Mr. Cameron is getting BIG-ger.

He just had his 9 month check up (insert hysterical crying).

Stats, 20.3 lbs & 26" long!

Our giant genes are starting to take over.

Since it was Paul's day off, he took over shot duty for this round.

He reported Cameron cried for a second.

Hmmm, that's not how I remember the last two visits.

There was screaming, pleading, scratching at the door to get out-oh wait, that was me.

My tough little man. The warrior Snoopy bandaid was kept for a warning to the Gu guey (sp?).

When I got home Paul met me outside, just to show pics & video from their day.

Isn't that just oozing of daddy love?

Here's a video of Cameron saying "ten".



Last but not least, climbing over Mt. Jackson to reach the camera (sorry, I don't now how to flip it).



I don't know what's more hysterical. Cameron leaping over or Paul's laugh. :)

And a few pics showing off my bebe.


Ahh, those squishable cheeks. He's hiding something in there, I'm almost certain.

Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund <3

I just get so overwhelmed by the positive response we've been recieving for Phillip & Gabrielle.

Thank you so much for not only taking the time to give your support, but for passing on the information to your friends & family.

A memorial fund as finally been set to receive any/all donations. We're still unclear on what type of formula Miss Gabby is taking, but all unused donations will be forwarded to the Liz Logelin Foundation.

So, in the end your generosity will help out a family that's in great need. <3

A PO Box has been set up to receive formula checks and diaper coupons.

Formula checks and diaper coupons can be sent to:
Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
PO Box 235971
Encinitas, CA 92023-5971

For those who want to send packages (larger than an envelope), the address for that is:
Brandi Futrell
c/o Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
14928 S. Maple Ave.
Gardena, CA 90248

Jewels, I just know you're smiling down & in disbelief.

You were & always will be forever loved.

We miss you, and Miss Gabby will not go without.

We will make sure of it!

Please, wake me up

Wow, today has certainly been surreal.

I've gone from disbelief, sad, angry to sad again.

My friend Noush called and not knowing otherwise, thought she was going to tell me about her trip.

I wish.

She had some unbelievable news about our friend Jewelyn.

A little back story, after having a loss her & her husband were finally expecting.

They found out it was a girl and in true Jewelyn style she wanted bunnies as her theme.

She loves bunnies.

No, not love, looooooooooves bunnies.

It didn't matter stuffed, print, real, bunnies always had a special place in her heart.

She was so obsessive, err- her love was so strong she would ask me to send her bunny gifts on Farm Town (a game on facebook aka cyber crack).

She carried their daughter Gabrielle full term, in fact she didn't go into labor until her due date!

It was no surprise to anyone that she was ready to have Miss Gabby.

She even joked about kicking her out.

Her humor was priceless. :)

Even the day Gabrielle was due to arrive she posted the following on her facebook;

Even with bouts of nausea for 18 weeks, I can honestly say I have enjoyed being pregnant these past 9 months, but I am also glad this journey is about to end, and start a new chapter in my life. I am 40 weeks pregnant... 0 day to go. ;-)

Unfortunatly, she didn't make it.

An emergency c-section was required to deliver little miss Gabrielle.

After the procedure, Jewelyn had complications & suffered from an amniotic fluid embolism &
disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC).

She lost brain activity & required life support.

Thoughts, prayers & well wishes went out to the family, but Jewelyn lost her battle.

She passed away today, at 11:30 PST

Jewelyn was a beautiful person, inside & out.

She had one of those personalities you just couldn't help but be drawn to and love.

Being in contact with her nephew I just know, Gabrielle will in her own way, know her mother.

She will always be told how wonderful a person her mother truly was to the world.

She leaves behind a beautiful family loving friends & made a differance in the world through teaching.

But, her true dream was finally met.

In the end she was finally a mother.

Amist all the sadness, reality will surely set in for her husband & will need all the support we can give him.

Not only will he have to face no longer having his best friend, he will need to care for his daughter.

I'm sure time off of work will begin to heal his heart.

A paypal account has been set up for her family so they can grief probably & not having to worry about finances, formula, clothing or whatever else may occur.

Donations can be sent to; 4jewelyn@gmail.com

100% of the donations will go directly to the family.

Times are financially tough for many of us, trust me I know.

Every little bit adds up & counts.

If you don't feel comfortable donating via paypal, you can also give a donation to the
Liz Logelin Foundation under Jewelyn's name.

The founder Matt has contacted my friend Kim, and is familier with Jewelyn & her story.

She was a giving, loving person.

I'm going to miss her greatly, but am blessed to say that she was my friend.